i) Normative Narratives

The gender binary is perpetuated and reinforced throughout our lives, both intentionally and unintentionally, through media, advertising, and everyday interactions; men are typically presented as strong, assertive, intelligent, and rough, while females are encouraged to be beautiful, quiet, submissive, and so forth, (Sensoy and DiAngelo, 2017, pg 106). We place value on certain traits for different genders, which continuously place men above women and reinforce the patriarchy, and we enforce these ideas throughout childhood and adulthood, (2017, pg 103). In my own story, certain gender stereotypes were reinforced to me as a child, even if I may not have noticed at the time. I was encouraged by my babysitter to choose a quiet, clean task with the other girls, instead of going outside to play catch with the boys; I became angry when I was told what I should do, as a girl, and she felt angry that I didn’t comply. Reece’s story also comes from childhood; he was fearful of getting in trouble from his father because he was playing dress-up with his sisters, something that, stereotypically, only girls should do. He rushed to take off the girl-clothes and makeup, and portrayed feelings of shame for straying from his gender role. Sarah’s story is similar to ours, though from her young adulthood; in a job typically only men hold, she was repeatedly harassed by male customers who assumed she couldn’t know what she was talking about due to her gender, and that she shouldn’t be working in a male-dominated trade. She felt frustrated when a male colleague was unchallenged by those customers when explaining the very same thing that she did. In all of our stories, we were met with negativity and resistance after straying from what is considered normal for our genders. 

I related to Sarah and Reece’s stories because we were challenged by others for attempting to do something outside the norm for our genders. In different ways, our experiences all perpetuated the idea that only girls can be quiet or submissive, clean, and pretty, and engage in soft activities, while only boys can be loud or dominant, dirty, unattractive (unenhanced with makeup), and engage in hands-on activities. In mine and Sarah’s stories, we were met with anger from others for straying from our typical roles; society has deemed that girls must be, “passive, pleasing, and above all else attractive to boys,” (2017, pg 106). We both felt angry and frustrated when others were trying to hold us back due to our gender. Yet in Reece’s story, he was so afraid by the imagined reaction of his father that he wouldn’t even allow his father to see him stray from a masculine role by engaging in a feminine activity. 

All of our stories portray ways in which the gender binary is continually reinforced through interactions from others throughout our lives. Enforcing or encouraging these gender norms that place men above women helps shape our identities as we grow; learning our gendered roles tells us what we can and can’t do. Creating and encouraging specific gendered identities also demonstrates what is deemed valuable to society; currently, males are deemed rational, intelligent, and strong, and tend to hold higher paying jobs and positions of influence or leadership. Reinforcing the idea that these ‘masculine’ traits are only valuable in men further acts to uphold the institution of the patriarchy. Consequently, females are deemed irrational, intelligent, and weak. They tend to hold lower paying jobs, and account for two and a half times the amount of unpaid work in households as men do, (UN Women). Ultimately, only one in five world leaders are women (UN Women, 2019). Though our stories are seemingly small examples, interactions such as ours all contribute to furthering these societal inequities by shaping our identities. 

ii) Creating Counter-Stories: Disrupting Normative Narratives

Erin’s story is similar to the rest of ours; she goes against her gender stereotype in performing a sport that is typically for males: hunting. However, her story differs from ours in the important way that she was not met with resistance from others for doing something masculine, but with encouragement. Though she does encounter a stranger who is confused as to why she is going against a gender stereotype, there is no anger and no pressure on her to change. Her story is an example of how her interactions have helped her to disrupt the gender binary. The above stories silence the fact that we all may encounter interactions which encourage us to go against gender norms, but they focused on instances which did not. Although in the above stories, we felt the truth was that the binary is reinforced, Erin’s truth differs from ours. 

All stories are true to their writer’s perspective, which is shaped from differing and overlapping identities. This helps me look at my own story differently; though I focused on an interaction in which I was put down for going against my gender norms, I could have focused on how my mom didn’t have a problem with me playing catch, and after picking me up from daycare, encouraged me to play catch if I wanted. When asked to discuss a time I felt gendered, I realize now that I didn’t choose to tell a story about being encouraged to defeat gender norms, because at such a young age, I didn’t understand how deeply ingrained in our society gender roles are. If I had been aware, perhaps I would have picked out more childhood memories as being “gendered”, such as building rockets with my step-dad and being encouraged to pursue an interest in science from a young age.

Considering my own story from a different perspective can help me work in the future to disrupt gender norms. Sensoy and DiAngelo state, “…our ideas, views, and opinions are the product of interlocking and ongoing social messages. These messages are central to how oppression is normalized.” (2017, p 103). As an educator, I will contribute to the formation of identities in my students. It will be important to consider how I allow gender expression to unfold in the classroom through my interactions with students, the language I use, and the encouragement I give to those who display traits or actions outside of their gender norm. As Martino writes, “[j]ust the idea of making available other points of view which challenge dominant thought about the heteronormative constraints of gender expression and masculinity is a start,” (2012). 

Cited:

Martino W. (2012) ‘Undoing’ Gender and Disrupting Hegemonic Masculinity: Embracing a Transgender Social Imaginary. In: Down B., Smyth J. (eds) Critical Voices in Teacher Education. Explorations of Educational Purpose, vol 22. Springer, Dordrecht

Sensoy, Ö, & DiAngelo, R.J. (2017). Is everyone really equal?: An Introduction to Key Concepts in Social Justice Education. New York, NY: Teachers College Press

UN Women. March 12, 2019. Press release: One in five ministers is a woman, according to new IPU/UN Women Map. Accessed March 23, 2020.  https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2019/3/press-release–ipu-un-women-map-women-in-politics

UN Women. Redistribute unpaid work. Accessed March 23, 2020. https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/csw61/redistribute-unpaid-work